Research Project Prewriting
Mary
ENG 5030
Research Question:
How can teachers create a classroom environment where all students are willing to take the emotional risks necessary to engage an authentic writing, and learning, process?
Background:
When working with adult basic skills reading students I found the “talk aloud” to be a very effective teaching tool. By talking through my own cognitive processes, including questioning and predicting, I demonstrated that reading was an active process. This teaching strategy was also useful in building rapport with students as I shared my misreadings and corrections as well. In a relaxed atmosphere where everyone made mistakes and supported each other, students grew comfortable sharing their own mistakes and strategies for fixing them. My results with this technique were very different however, when I tried it in a low performing high school. The high school students were shockingly intolerant of mistakes by anyone. They ridiculed each other for the slightest misreading, and even called me stupid when I modeled active reading strategies. I was aware that students’ own fear of failure was driving their behavior, but it was so deeply engrained that I found it impossible to combat. I generally enjoy using modeling for teaching writing as well as reading, but my confidence was so shaken after several attempts at modeling that I abandoned the strategy entirely and assumed a more aloof teacher persona in order to survive the rest of my time with that group.
The above stories were only briefly referred to in my transcripts, I think because the interview was focused on my own writing and reading experiences. The conversation about my teaching came toward the end of the interview. After reading through the transcripts several times a theme about classroom environment and teacher persona began to emerge. I saw that I seemed most comfortable as a student in a relaxed, conversational environment, where I felt safe. I was least comfortable with sarcastic, gruff teachers who intimidated me, and I tried as much as possible to hide from them. It seemed obvious to me that all students would feel this way, until I hit that charter school.
In analyzing the transcripts, so far I’m using …
Gergen- social construction –“communication is inherently collaborative”
How do teachers and students collaborate in communicating?
“We largely derive our potential for coordination from our previous immersion in a range of other relationships.” (charter school student fears)
How can classroom teachers help students overcome previous negative experiences?
McAdams – grounded theory? Seems to fit, but I’m not quite sure how yet … I like his examples of generativity and motivated social cognition but my narrative was definitely in the context of discovery. I had no idea what was going to come out of it and could have focused on a number of other issues that came up.
McCurdy – issues of trust in the classroom; students connecting with their own emotions, with each other, with the teacher (perhaps this kind of classroom is not possible with adolescents!)
Chamberlain – narrative therapy I’m finding it useful to analyze my charter school experience using Chamberlain’s questions (although I don’t consider this experience “traumatic”)
Bamberg – Six premises of the Narrative Practice Perspective certainly applies, but how much am I analyzing the transcript as opposed to the experiences described in the transcript?
Here are some relevant excerpts from my interview transcripts:
Teacher Experiences:
Charter School:
Mary: that’s probably it so with him I could see ok so this is where the impulse for the charter schools comes from and then I worked at a charter school and it was small and it was closer to where I live and the students were from xxxx and it was far worse than xxxx. (I took out the names of two nj urban districts)
Sally: what do you mean worse
Mary: in the behavior of the students, in the lack of work they would do it was an awful, awful school I couldn’t believe it. Somebody explained it this way: when students come in they are all ready to work and they are excited about being out of the public school but then they see that they can kind of get away with the same stuff (behavior) as in the public school because we really don’t have any recourse and they call this charterized they start behaving like they did there (in the district school) and It’s worse in some ways because you don’t have all of the personnel and support to handle it so that was just a dreadful experience
Sally: wow so what did you manage to teach what did you try there
Mary: well in the curriculum was lord of the flies and catcher in the rye, which the kids could not connect to at all so it was really tough I actually did more on persuasive writing and that I had a little more success with because I showed them some documentaries, supersize me and things like that which really they connected to that In that instance when I got off the reading into the writing I was more successful
Adult Basic Skills:
Mary: when I went back it was in the reading dept which was a little more structured esp for the adjuncts and I enjoyed teaching the reading strategies and even learning that there are strategies I learned a lot teaching there so that was very helpful to me and I really enjoyed it.
My experiences as a student:
1st-4th grade:
S: Okay were there other important family members or connections that come up as important people in your life in terms of early reading and writing. It can be positive or negative. Is there a teacher that comes up in your mind? Or was there a friend or someone? Anything that comes up right now.
M: The only thing that comes up is when I was. I changed schools a lot when I was in Jersey City because I guess Jersey City was changing and my first school was what is now NJCU used to be State Teachers College and they had a demonstration school so I went there for K,1st,2nd grade, but then it closed due to lack of funding. So I went to public school for 2 years and I did not have a good experience. I don’t remember exactly what happened. I was in third grade but they put me in like 7th grade for reading or something? And it was very awkward, I felt very uncomfortable with these 7th graders, so I didn’t do well. And I didn’t like the teacher that I had then. She was very tough. So that was a bad experience.
S: So can you fill out some of the details of that? Do you remember sitting in the classroom?
M: I do remember being slow with my work. And the other kids being done and feeing a lot of pressure about that but they were much older. It was very weird. I actually do remember sitting there and having a girl in the next row knowing that I was struggling and showing me that she was done. (laughs)
S: Oh my goodness what a way to humiliate you. Do you remember how you got placed in that class?
M: No, but I think it was coming from the demonstration school where I was reading a lot. I do remember that they would read aloud in that school and one of the books they read aloud was Charlotte’s Web and I will never forget that. I loved it. Then when I switched to the public school I guess they didn’t know what to do with me because my reading level was pretty high. I don’t know who made that decision (laughs).
S: Who knows? But there you were with those 7th & 8th graders.
M: But then the next year, maybe they just started a gifted and talented program? The next year I do remember being in, I think they called it gifted reading, and I liked that class. I liked the teacher she used to talk about things outside of school like, I don’t know why I remember this story, “When I go to the opera and my bracelet is making noise because I’m turning the pages, I think that might disturb the other people in the audience, so I take that off.” She was telling us about a different world.
S: Oh I’d say so and it was also a pointed teaching story (laughs)
M: Yes I remember thinking if I go to the opera and I have a bracelet I have to take that off when I turn the pages (both laughing)
S: You are like 8 or 9 at that point.
M: Yeah, so I really felt in that school that I didn’t know where I was or what was going on. It was very weird. I do remember they didn’t have a library. Once a week, now this was a public school in Jersey City in the early 70s I guess. Not good. They used to take us down the hall once a week and there was this big cupboard with books in it and that was where we got our books. They did have horse books so I did read, you know, Misty and all of my horse books ….
….. S: So you’re a reader. That’s fine. We’ll go with that. So that’s the home environment. Did you and your sister ever play school?
M: Well I had a little schoolhouse… That my mother sent away for… When I look back at it now it was… It looked European. Do you remember those Swedish toy companies? That had catalogs? It was something like that. I guess there was a floor and the walls came out. It was like a shoebox, say. And the front was a blackboard and a little desk and a globe and there were desks in it. And that was my favorite way to play school, with the little toys, almost like a doll house, but I didn’t have a doll house, I had a schoolhouse. (laugh) It had little people, and desks, and books.
S: Did you play with that with other friends, with your sister?
M: Yeah I guess with my sister. I don’t remember friends having these interests that I had.
S: Well, it’s funny, you’re like the flip side of the traditional story: like when I was bad I had to read Playing was reading and playing school. And that’s a value system. Ok so you’ve got this little doll house school. How old were you?
M: 7? 8?
S: So it was right around when you went to that new school, the public school.
M: It was right around then. I had my good school and my bad school I guess.
S: And the good school was in a box.
M: And I controlled it
S: we aren’t saying that. we’re waiting for you to do that in the analysis
S: were there themes about good or bad students?
M: I don’t remember but I really think it was more geared toward lessons
S: Ok so you were just born to be a teacher.
M: I don’t know we haven’t gotten to high school yet …
… S: Any other thoughts? Do you remember any of the books they had you read?
M: Well, I remember the principal used to come in. I don’t know what grade this is, it may be first grade and she would read “Charlotte’s Web” to us. I don’t know if it was a little every day, or once a week, but that was a big treat. We’d sit on the floor.
S: So this was typical experimental school type place. Can you describe the space a little bit?
M: Well it was in the college so it was in these big classrooms. And I remember having gym in a big gym. And playing like bluebird, farmer in the dell or something and being in this big college gym. That was kind of awkward or strange. I remember looking back it must have been students. I remember being taken out in the hall, and being asked questions where they were probably doing IQ tests. You know it was laboratory school. So I do remember people coming in and out. They all looked like adults to me, but they must have been students.
S: How did that feel that you were interacting with all these adults? That’s unusual.
M: Yeah, I always felt I don’t know what they’re doing here but whatever, I’ll go with it.
S: OK, so it was a little bit strange?
M: Yes
S: Did it make you feel special?
M: Yes, the students actually did. They did definitely.
S: All right, so I fished for that and I didn’t get it. But I did introduce it and then you agreed. So we’ll notice that’s the level of agreement for that.
M: I do remember liking the students and do remember them joking, and trying not to make the testing scary. And they didn’t, they made it fun.
S: So you’re getting a lot of attention that kids don’t necessarily get at a regular school.
M: Yeah
S: Of course you didn’t have anything to compare it to, but that’s what your education started at. And then you get to go to the beloved public school.
M: Which is totally disorienting …
…
M: I didn’t mind it. Oh, I did have some trouble in the other school with writing slowly and writing some letters backwards. They attributed it to lefthandedness
S:Did they talk to yr mother?
M: they put it in a report, they didn’t seem to think it was a big deal
S: Do you remember thinking about it?
M: That bothered me a little bit, yeah.
S: Wow what did you think?
M: Just why am I slower than the other people, not so much the writing backwards but I didn’t like being slower
S: ok so there’s an awareness that came from somewhere about expectations for writing so that’s there by first grade. An expectation that there’s some kind of standards both with the way it looks and how quickly it’s done. That’s interesting. Ok so now yr back at the other school and yr writing and yr reading much better than anything else. Did u do phonics how did you learn to read
M: I don’t know it was like magic (laughs) I know they did phonics in that first school I remember the workbooks and letters and sounds
S: Did that seem like it was news to you or something you already knew
M: IDK it was just school work
S: it doesn’t sound much like it was connected to reading
M: No idk, I can’t remember it that clearly. I enjoyed it phonics and that stuff
S:ok but somehow u learned to read tell me about that public school
M: well I guess that feeling of not knowing what was going on was very much increased now like where am I why am I with these 7th graders? Why is this teacher so mean? And feeling a little bit better in that gifted class or whatever that was with Mrs. Schlegel
Turn tape over
M: Ok what were we taking about
S: we were talking about Mrs. Schlegel going to the opera (both laugh) in the gifted class So tell me about the class with the 7th graders u weren’t in there all the time were you
M: no just for reading but I don’t remember doing any reading in there just worksheets or something something I was slower in doing
S: it was a writing task ok and u were like what were they thinking? What was the environment?
M: rows teacher in the front
D: did you like yr desk? Did you have any feeling about the place?
M: no I was too anxious in that situation
S: Did you have any confidence that grew out of the fact that you were a fast reader?
M: At that time? Not really there were too many other overwhelming circumstances
S: that’s interesting
M: but that was just that first year it got better with MRS. Schlegel. Then I did have more confidence…
My experiences as a student 5th grade-Undergrad
… S: so at some point u start to do book reports
M: I guess that all kicks in in the catholic school around 5th grad
S: u were only at the public school a short time
M: I remember religion reports more than anything else, history reports, book reports
S: how did you feel about those
M:We did have those sra cards that had a little creative prompt
S: what’s an sra card
M: idk they were little cards in a box that had alittle prompt on it and you could write to that and there were boxes that had skills
S: tell me about those boxes were they public? Was there one that was just yrs?
M:No it was independent work you would do maybe on a Friday The teacher must have directed you to certain boxes
S: what happened when you completed one
M: (laughs) idk it disappeared, but it was a little more enjoyable, a little less rote
S: ok I’ve heard that before did u get any feedback at that point?: what were u feeling about yrslf as a writer at this point
M: I was confident
S:ok at the beginning there was a little anxiety that u were slow bt now ur feeling pretty good
M: yeah
S: can u remember any story that epitomizes that?
M: No we didn’t have any publications, I don’t remember anybody getting any accolades except for that one creative writing story that I wrote about in 8th grade yr most embarrassing moment, which I totally said I’m not doing this (laughs)
S: but u did a very writerly thing to solve that problem u used a model an d u picked something that met the audience expectations
M: it was just an easy way to get out of it and I did it was probably my one opportunity to shine and I didn’t do it
S: what kind of a grade did u get on it
M: yeah I got a good grade
S: and u didn’t have to embarrass yourself I think u totally did the writerly thing u figured that one out: the teachers are giving u (good) grades and u know how to get them
M. Yeah
S: r u noticing yr peers writing u notice yr husband’s writng
M: NO there just wasn’t that much around
S: High school how does that feel?
M: that was a big thing to get into the hs I wanted with my friends
S: did u have to take an entrance exam?
M: I think it was just based on grades idk bt there were kids who didn’t get in u kind of knew what school u were elegible for and that was kind of the top one it’s the only one thats still going in JC
S:so tell me about the experiences
M: actually when I got there I didn’t like it it was very regimented and tight control even st paul’s was a little bit looser you could go out for lunch in 8th grade to the candy store in 8th grade u felt like u had some priveliges and then the hs was very small, tight, nuns. I was not happy there
S: tell me something about that
M: they never bothered me I always flew under the radar but I felt it was too controlled
S: maybe it was something u watched happen to someone else
M: idk I don’t remember there were girls who were thrown out bt I didn’t care about that I didn’t know them they were smoking or doing something they shouldn’t have been doing I guess I thought I’d get more freedom going to hs and I got less
S: yeah and that was a disappointment
M: I guess the girls who stayed there … well you’ll laugh when I go on with this story when I change hs I guess im just never happy. Should I just go on with that story?
S: just go on with it
M:ok I moved when I was in 10th grade to Middletown nj big sprawling hs public and I was glad to not have all these rules and nuns anymore but I was devastated I sat in a study hall where kids were running around and throwing things and there was no order and I was completely lost in this huge hs where I didn’t know anybody and I just though well there is no pleasing me I got what I wanted be careful what u wish for and I’m miserable here
S: well, I don’t know if that’s u but we’ll notice that u wondered if it was
M: ok …
… M: I don’t really but I remember the class when I was a senior in hs (should have said college) that I liked because I liked the teacher and he was very open to whatever u wanted to write about and applying different theories of lit to different works and I remember I was taking a joyce course at the same time and I applied certain things that didn’t really fit, but he liked that I tried it and that’s where I remember he wrote about synthesis on a paper I wrote.
S: so u got that feedback that u were good at that. Did u believe that
M: yeah
